i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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