I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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