Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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