I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
