she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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