Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
