yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
