i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
