My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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