i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
