yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
