my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
