Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
