Already got asked if we're dating
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
