i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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