My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize