lets start a swedish sibling band together
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
