super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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