My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
