Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
