So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
