Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
