Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Life is so much better after having sex.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
