wanna go halves on a baby?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize