i think my tv is drunk
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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