Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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