I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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