we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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