I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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