I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
