We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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