awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
