Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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