i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
