The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
