he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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