i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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