forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Please don't give away my fajitas
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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