Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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