She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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