You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
