I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
