It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
