literally had 100 drinks last night.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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