Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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