yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
