i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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