doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I cannot find my penis.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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