btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I love you. Go after that dick
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
