I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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