No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
