Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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