i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize
