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• (248): View more from Michigan

  do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  RUDE.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  outsmarted mickey deeeees

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  ***** fucked a guy with one hand last night

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I chose taco bell over sex...

  (503): View more from Oregon

  good choice.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.

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• (925): View more from California

  He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye

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• (239): View more from Florida

  If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Why would you answer?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one

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• (949): View more from California

  You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody

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