This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
