this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
