i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I need water and some morals
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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