You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
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I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
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Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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