I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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