I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
as a side note pls kill me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
