Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
